Our friend Andrew, “adarqui”, from Adarq.org has scoured the globe in search of the highest intensity, most extreme training techniques that will “trick” the CNS into elite performance output.

***Note: This is tongue in cheek.  Do not try these ever!***

The Attack Dog Chase Method

For sprint speed. This is using a 60m sprint example.

1. Athlete gets set in blocks. There’s a fence about 70m from the starting blocks.

2. Handler is holding an attack dog, such as pitbul or german shepherd. The distance between the sprinter & the dog depends on the total length of the sprint. For this example, we’ll use 15 yards separation. For a 200m sprint, we might use 30-40 yards separation, etc.

3. At the sound of the gun, the athlete sprints & the dog chases. The goal is for the athlete to outrun the dog and run into the fence, climbing up and avoiding imminent death. If the athlete fails to reach the fence before the dogs gets ahold of him, a mauling will occur.

Save a Life: PR lifting

This is used to break out of stagnation at the elite level, such as for world champion powerlifters or olympic lifters. Our example will use the deadlift, but other lifts can be used, such as squat, bench press, c&j, snatch, etc.

1. Deadlift work is is performed, stopping a set prior to the PR attempt.

2. Deadlifter’s family member is brought in, and placed inside a special box, which is fire retardant for up to 60 seconds.

3. Deadlifter is made aware of the situation, that the box will be set ablazed, and he has 60 seconds to lift the bar to complete lockoupt. Only 3 green lights will unlock the bomb proof door & allow his family member to escape. If he does not complete the lift, a PR will not be achieved and a family member will be lost.

4. The clock is ticking, PR time.

Extreme Agility

Run onto field at professional sporting event (preferably football or soccer for more space) and run from security/dodge players.

Works on: short and long sprints, change of direction, reaction time… daringness and stupidity.

The HOT Track

At HOT-Track INC, we specialize in making your athletes faster. HOT-Track INC utilizes advanced surfacing technology, to provide a highly motivating experience for your athletes. The track heats up to an astounding 200 degrees Farenheit, which can be used for a variety of barefooted ground contact time reducing activities, yet still retaining a higher force output. Want to improve leg stiffness to maximum potential in the shortest amount of training time? At HOT-Track INC, we have a temperature to suit your needs. Utilize temperatures ranging from 110-120 F for longer distance sprinting, high jump, and long jump. Utilize the 150 degree temperatures for 60m-100m sprinting. Utilize the 180-200 (F) degree track for reducing ground contact times in hopping exercises to less than 0.06s while still maintaining peak power.

We have a temperature, that suits you.

The Super Pool For Olympic divers

This tool is used for olympic diver’s, looking to perfect their water entrance and reduce splash. This pool is like no other, since the only way into it is through a 3 by 3 foot hole, surrounded in concrete.

SupraDupraMaximal Depth Drops

Jay Schroeder apparently saw people doing depth drops from 15-25 feet while he was owning russians in powerlifting, during his time in the eastern bloc. Contrary to popular belief, athletes in the USSR do not simply step off the box, instead, they perform a muscle up on a thin bar then drop. This is the only known footage we have from his experience in the great USSR.

***Note: that’s Schroeder on the other side of the pole***

Jamaican Overspeed

This is the only known footage of usain bolt as a young child, training using the highly secretive jamaican overspeed technique. Apparently, the young sprinter would be strapped to the car by a harness and tow-rope, at which, after reaching 25-30 mph, the harness is released and maintenance of top speed is attempted.

Cuban Baseball: Pitching Techniques

A young aspiring cuban national baseball pitcher, seen here in Beirut, practices his fast ball against an angry tank.

MENTAL EXTREME

Pictured here, Jay Schroeder, immobilizing tanks, demonstrates the power of the mind once iso extremes have been mastered for over 3 years.

ARP EXTREME
Leaked picture from a training session, which involved kidnapping the athlete, strapping him to a bench, and then performing EMS with the ARP to selectively recruit the fast twitch fibers of the pectorals, triceps, and anterior deltoids. This was 1-week out from world’s for a 50kg male powerlifter. It is said that this athlete gained 150 lb on his bench press in just over 24 hours.

The USSR Roulette Stim Method

This can be used before sprints, depth jumps, squats, etc.

1. Athlete loads a 6 shooter with one bullet.

2. Athlete, under vision deprivation (blind fold), spins chamber a total of 5 times.

3. Athlete places barrel of gun at temple.

4. Athlete pulls trigger.

If the athlete survives:

5. Athlete utilizes light movement drills for 4-6 minutes, such as light shaking of the limbs, to remove spurious tension. It is essential that the athlete rest 4-6 minutes, as this allows for the greatest motor cortex stimulatory tonic effect.

6. Athlete then performs the tonic exercise.